I am already alone

Sitting here, counting down the hours until bedtime, it dawns on me that I am already alone.  I have been alone for a long time.  My partner doesn't text me anymore, unless he needs me to get milk. He is often not home - hiding at work or seeing family. I have spent literally half my time alone for over 6 weeks. And when he is home, he sometimes sleeps next to me and sometimes in the spare room with the kids.  but if it is with me, there is barely contact, his back to me, and his head under a pillow. There is no love, no warmth, no hug unless I make one. I am actually pretty much alone. He has withdrawn from me - and spends all his time texting other people - including his ex.  I am being treated like a worthless human - not a woman carrying his child.

And so I am already alone.  And I am dealing with it fairly. And maybe thats is what is hurting so much, That the rejection is omnipresent. I am being rejected in my own bed as I sleep at night. I am living the life I used to have, but my partner is choosing to be physically and or emotionally absent. Maybe if I relocate, this feeling of loss and rejection will not be so great? Or maybe they will be worse. I don't know.  But it looks like I have no choice but to find out!